More than just about love

Heart. Felt. Words

Tue, 31 Jan 2012 11:01:40 -0500

Whatever you read below, is my true confessions. I don’t lyk to bottled up emotions but at the same time i don’t wanna bomb it on my poor friends so i decided to pen it down anyways..

For the past 11 months, it has been a hell of a roller coaster ride. At least for me.

I remember the first time i saw you was at vivo city sky garden. BM asked u to join us for dinner so that me and others can get to know you before our HK trip. So we ate at ajisen. My impression of you wasn’t very strong, just thought that you were quite a shy guy..

Then off to HK. During HK trip, i just wanted to let my hair down and enjoy to the fullest because it’s been a while since im out of spore. Wasn’t even thinking of any chance of r/s could happen or whatsoever. Just going overseas with friends, eat good food, go siao in shopping that’s all. Can’t remember which day, we went to ocean park. I was there wanting to conquer all the scary rides. You guys were all jelly pls. But it was my turn to jelly during that tower ride, where it goes all the way up n drop down. You sat beside me during the ride, and you shouted when we were at the top. i was lyk thinking “some guts he have”. I was scared ttm, and u kindly lend me your hand for me to hold. Yup, i remembered, that’s our first time holding hands. But i didn’t wanna think into it too much after that.

The Chase. So we came back to spore, you started texting me n etc. Slowly, i feel that you were a sincere and a nice guy. A guy whom i think i can trust and depend on. U asked me out for supper a couple of times after my work. Sent me home. Feelings start to grow and when u popped the qns at Suntec i said ok. We both jumped at the chance. Although u prepared a really nice surprise but failed, i was really touched.

The first few months in our r/s, of cos lyk any other r/s, was our honeymoon period. We meet up 3-4 times per week, regardless of just short lunch during my break or dinner or sending me home after work. Yr mom even complained that u were too close to me.. Hmm then u brought to me those “couple places” lyk helix bridge or tried to go West Coast Park but failed to spend time tgt.. It was really sweet. N i remembered we went for cycling at ECP, where u kept laughing at my tummy, thigh n etc.. Everything was really nice. Felt lyk im really your girl. I really missed those times.

This is where our downhill started. When we both step into unis.. First bump was when u having ur back to back 2 FOCs. In ur first camp, u hardly contacts me. Understood that the camp programmes are really packed n u had lil slp, but sure u can afford some minutes to text me? It’s not really abt the text, it just that u completely forgets about me. I was upset n u knew. So in the 2nd camp, u tried to contact me as much as u could. Even when u were having ur SP date n brought her to the pizza place where i brought u, yup u let me know abt it.. Then school started, so as ur hall activities.. U went to commit to many stuff.. Cheerleading, run, bball, CAC.. U din even think through, or kindly let me noe. It’s as if im not important to you, that u don have to care about how i feel. We fight a lot on these, because suddenly u were telling me stuff that u were busy, don hav time to meet n etc.. Rmb how u said meeting twice a week is lyk a bit too much? You wanted me to support you blindly, because u are selfish to wanna experience hall life ttm. You brought up examples how ur fren who stays n his gf don even meet often and still tgt.. We fight, we broke up, and we made up. We stop going out for dates. Even if we meet up, we either go ur hse to have dinner or go ur hall to spend time. U stopped doing nice things for me. Our r/s was just getting too dry. N we always fight. Far too many times. We tried to work out, but each time it gets more tiring.. But we continue to try because we don’t wanna give up yet.. Mayb i was being a coward too, don wanna leave you cos i were dependent on you.. Maybe also we made up too many times, that we take each other for granted. The last time we patched, the next min u went to play mj with ur frens, while i was just sitting there watching you guys. And i will just quarrel with you, when im upset or unhappy abt sth.. We can’t even voice out our displeasures in peace anymore. We said we will try to change, but end up doing worse.

But this time is really the deal breaker. After so much we’ve been through, u tell me that i wans’t ur priority. I asked about vday, u said u’ll be too tired after ur lessons and u wouldnt even wanna meet up for a while. I told u i din wanna spend vday alone, u said im being too demanding.. But i found out you went to play mj till 5am with ur hall mates, after ur lessons and cheer. The extent you went for ur hall mates and for me is totally different. This is not the only event that proved it. In many occasions, i felt im nth to you. You not only hurt me, but made me feel lyk the past 11 months we worked so hard for, is working for nothing.

As much as i missed you, i can’t allow myself to get back with you, let u hurt me more.. I think i’ve tried to work it out.. i gave you 100% feelings.. I will move on and forget about all these..

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Tue, 31 Jan 2012 06:05:59 -0500

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Tue, 31 Jan 2012 06:03:05 -0500

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Tue, 31 Jan 2012 06:00:04 -0500

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Tue, 31 Jan 2012 05:49:21 -0500

I meant to say, "Please stay." That's all I could think in my head, but I could feel my lips open and I could hear myself say, "Alright, go then. Bye."

Tue, 13 Sep 2011 10:16:22 -0400

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Tue, 13 Sep 2011 10:13:22 -0400

makemestfu: http://makemestfu.net/

Tue, 13 Sep 2011 10:12:46 -0400

makemestfu:

http://makemestfu.net/

its a new beginning..

Sun, 11 Sep 2011 13:12:16 -0400

its a new beginning..

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Sun, 11 Sep 2011 13:05:38 -0400

The difference between men and women after a break up

Sun, 11 Sep 2011 12:57:04 -0400

Men:

Break up day:

A week later:

A month later:

Women

Break up day:

A week later:

A month later:

Unless you’re Bella Swan

Break up day:

A week later:

A month later:

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

LMAO. somehow it feels like the opposite..

http://thatfunnyblog.tumblr.com/

makemestfu: http://makemestfu.net/

Sun, 11 Sep 2011 12:55:40 -0400

makemestfu:

http://makemestfu.net/

Video

Sun, 11 Sep 2011 12:52:29 -0400

We both see this coming long time ago. Commitment is a very big word for both of us right now,...

Sun, 11 Sep 2011 12:51:51 -0400

We both see this coming long time ago. Commitment is a very big word for both of us right now, especially you. I guess i am really ok for us being what we are right now.. It made me relieved.. Cos for the past few weeks we’ve been struggling.. Now the burdens are lifted, we should keep it this way..

I’m not gonna hope we will be together again somehow.. Feelings will fade in time.. And i can’t promise i’ll wait for things to turn out to be better.. But what i can promise is i’ll be a good friend to you and be there for you when you need one..